


Manic Andrew

by poly_pr1nce



Series: Prompts [4]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: M/M, Mania, Manic!Andrew
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-13 18:30:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16897761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poly_pr1nce/pseuds/poly_pr1nce
Summary: Andrew's mania returnsI AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL SO DON'T GO OFF AT ME FOR ANYTHING YOU THINK IS INACCURATE





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Tw for blood and typical Andrew-related triggers 
> 
> 14: you're supposed to talk me out of this

 

Neil looked at Andrew.  
Andrew ignored him, more fascinated by the paint on the walls rather than the blood on his fist and face. It had smeared slightly and made his grin even more chilling.  
Across the room, Abby washed her hands in the sink. When she turned around, Neil was still staring at Andrew and Andrew was still ignoring him.  
"What happened?" Abby asked gently as she fished through her first aid kit. As Neil opened his mouth, Andrew laughed again. Neil tried not to shiver.  
Andrew didn't answer, so Neil sighed and turned away from the blonde.  
"Sheena said something that set him off. I've not seen him like this since -" Neil faltered and Andrew turned to him, gaze mocking. "Since he came off his meds."  
Andrew laughed, shaking his head.  
"Oh, Neil," he said, voice full of sarcastic joy. "Never thought I'd see the day you were walking of eggshells around me." He tilted his head as if considering Neil for the first time. "Do you mean since darling Drake fucked me? Or since I left for Easthaven? Or were you meaning some time in between those two fabulous events?"   
Neil stared, bewildered. Andrew just tutted. "Have to be more specific, Pinochio."  
Abby grimaced as she came to stand next to the bed. Andrew grinned at Neil, before flopping backwards dramatically, throwing one arm over his forehead, the other lolling to the side and almost hitting Abby. She stepped out the way just in time.  
"Ow, the pain, ow," Andrew wailed melodramatically, before his grin grew and his gaze locked on Neil. "Oh, are you thinking of the last time you heard me say 'ow'?" When Neil didn't answer immediately, Andrew laughed, high and delighted sounding.  
"Andrew," Abby said, and Andrew turned his head to look at her, his bloody arm still inches from her.  
"What you waiting for?" he asked, feigning confusion. "Patch it up, patch it up."  
Abby took his hand, and when he didn't pull away or snap, she began cleaning the wound carefully. She handed a wet cloth to Andrew and he wiped his face, the blood coming off easily. When he was done, he dropped the cloth unsmcerimoniously on the open lid of Abbey's box.  
"What did Sheena say?" Neil asked a few minutes later.   
Andrew shrugged and waved his free hand in dismissal.  
"Oh, nothing of importance."  
"Andrew, I haven't seen you manic since you were taken to Easthaven," Neil snapped. Andrew raised his brows. "So don't fucking try and say it wasn't important."  
Andrew considered him for a few seconds, before turning to Abby.  
"Abby, be a deer and go hop to find Coach."  
Abby frowned at him. "I haven't finished with your hand."  
"Oh, you can do that when you get back."  
Abby opened her mouth to argue, but someone knocked loudly on the door.  
"Busy," Abby called.  
"It's me," Coach said. Before Abby could reply, Andrew shouted.  
"Oh, Coach, come in, come in."  
Before he had finished speaking, Wymack had came in and shut the door behind him, staring at Andrew.  
"Shit," he said when he saw the oh-so-familiar grin.  
"We were just talking about you," Andrew said cheerfully. "I was trying to tell Abby to go hop along and find you but now you're here so you can both hop along together."  
"Why?" Wymack asked gruffly.   
Andrew widened his eyes innocently. "Cause I want a few minutes alone with my boyfriend," he said and Neil's blood chilled. Judging by the matching expressions Coach and Abby were wearing, theirs had too. "Is that really too much to ask?"  
Abby sighed as Wymack gestured for her, and then he pointed between Andrew and Neil.  
"Five minutes."  
Andrew waved sarcastically as they went out the door and shut it behind them. He hopped off the bed and strolled over, locking it behind them, before spinning around to look at Neil.  
Instead of saying anything straight away, he tilted his head again. Neil stayed where he was, waiting.   
"You know," he began, "you never cease to amaze me, Josten."  
"How so?"  
Andrew laughed.  
"Let's play a game," he said instead, walking forward. "It's called 'what should Neil say'. Sound like fun?" Andrew clapped his hands, now standing an arms length away from Neil. "Great. I'll go first. When Jack makes a joke about me enjoying getting raped, what should Neil say?"  
Neil stared, dumb founded. "What?" he stammered at last.  
Andrew shook his head.  
"Wrong," he sang. "Neil should say nothing. Not a thing. Silence. Because Jack doesn't mean shit. Although, he's a Fox so none of us mean shit. My turn again - when Nicky makes a stupid joke about needing fucked senseless, what should Neil say?"  
"Silence?" Neil guessed.   
Andrew clapped. "Ding-ding-ding. One point to Neil. Now, last round. When Sheena gets in my space and says she wants to know how hard you fuck me, and that she's not an idiot so knows you're just as bad as Drake behind closed doors, what should Neil say?"  
Neil bristled. Sheena was so dead for that comment.  
"Sheena thinks I'm just like him?" he asked. Andrew groaned, tipping his head back in exasperation.  
"Wrong. You're not meant to repeat the question, rabbit."   
Suddenly, Andrew reached out, wrapping his hands around Neil's throat like he used to do all the time. His thumbs dug in, grip tight enough to be a warning, finger tapping out the rhythm of Neil's pulse.  
"What should Neil say?" he asked a again, voice soft and quiet.  
Neil racked his brain. Andrew wouldn't play a guessing game if he didn't think Neil could get to the answer.  
"Silence?"   
"To her? Yes. To me? No."  
Neil frowned, and Andrew rolled his eyes, before pointing to his smile.   
"What did you say a week or so before they came to take this away? What did you say when you wanted to play happy families with Dan's lot?"  
Neil stared at him.  
"I asked you."  
Andrew's gaze flicked over Neil's face and Neil knew he was running out of time; Andrew's attention span was waning.  
"I talked you into-"   
Andrew cocked his head and Neil stared as he realised the answer. Was Andrew saying he would have gone more manic both those times if Neil hadn't talked him into something else? And by talking him into something else, Neil thought, he had talked him out of his severe mania.  
"Ah," Andrew said happily. "And so he knows." His grip around Neil's throat tightened, as he walked them both backwards onto the bed.  
"You're supposed to talk me out of this," Andrew whispered, mouth centimetres from Neil's, grin twisting wider and wider.  
With that, he pushed Neil onto the bed, then climbed on his lap, knees on either side of his hips, pinning him down.  
Neil didn't see it coming. One moment Andrew was staring and grinning at him, the next he was kissing him hungrily, as if the only oxygen which could keep him alive were inside Neil's mouth.  
Someone rapped on the door.  
Andrew pulled away with a grin, and before Neil could catch his breath or process anything which had just happened, Andrew hopped off the bed and unlocked the door, throwing "It's open!" over his shoulder.  
When Wymack and Abby walked in with Kevin on their heels, Andrew had made it back to the bed and was reclaiming his position on Neil's lap.  
"What the-" Kevin began, but Andrew silenced him with a dismissive wave.  
"Don't be such a prude," Andrew said cheerfully. "I'm just saving Neil's dignity."  
Neil opened his mouth to argue, but no words came out. Andrew laughed and turned to Abby, holding out his hand for her to finish cleaning and bandaging.   
Abby looked between them, and Neil sighed.  
"Just go with it," he said, forcing his voice to stay even. "He won't move unless he wants to."  
Andrew raised his eyebrows but didn't argue, so Abby returned to cleaning his hand.  
"Coach?" Neil asked, trying to look around Andrew and Abby to where the other two men were standing.   
"What?" Wymack sounded tired and... amused?  
"Sign Sheena up for a marathon."  
Kevin balked.  
"Why?" Wymack asked after a beat of silence.  
Andrew was looking at Neil as if he were telling the best joke he had ever heard.  
"Cause it's that or I'll do something I'll regret."  
Andrew laughed chirpily, as if he had just gotten the punchline of an amazing joke.  
Coach's voice was gruff with concern and anger when he replied.  
"Done. Want her benched tonight?"  
"Is Andrew getting benched?"  
"Can he play?" Wymack countered.  
"Yes," Neil and Abby replied unanimously.  
Andrew's free hand returned to Neil's throat.  
"Then no, he isn't getting benched."  
"Then bench her," Neil said.  
Coach left the room with Kevin on his heels. Neil thought he heard "I seriously need a pay raise," but wasn't sure.  
When Abby finished wrapping Andrew's hand, he flexed it and looked at it as if it were something alien.  
"Don't push that hand too hard," Abby said as she packed her box up. "It'll bleed easily if something scrapes it."  
"Sure, sure," Andrew replied, before hopping off of Neil and strolling to the door. "Leaving now. "  
Neil looked at Abby apologetically before he jogged to catch up with Andrew as he made his way down the hall towards the rest of the team, who were all already changed out and ready. Neil sighed and tried to put what had just happened to the back of his mind to deal with later; right now, he had a team to lead and a game to win.

  
Throughout the game, Neil tried to focus on the here and now, on the team - his team, he reminded himself. The Freshmen were finally pulling their weight; maybe the scare of Andrew being too manic to focus or care about the game gave them that extra jolt. As much as Neil loathed himself for it, he was secretly glad Andrew's mania had made a reappearance, if it meant the others finally stopped relying on him to clean up their mess.  
It was almost half time, and Andrew had only had to deflect three goals so far. In the stands, waves of orange and white were out in support, and the Vixens were shouting and cheering so loudly Neil could make out some of their words.  
But no matter how well he played, how many impossible passes he and Kevin were able to pull off together with their Raven footwork, Neil's thoughts kept derailing to Andrew.  
Andrew, with that grin. That laugh. Those empty eyes. Neil had gotten so used to the blank mask he had forgotten just how chilling Andrew's mania made him.  
But what was bothering Neil more than the effect the mania had on Andrew was the mania itself; Andrew hadn't been manic in front of him since the day he left Colombia to go to Easthaven. Neil had been under the impression the mania was entirely drug-induced. But tonight proved that wasn't the case. And Andrew's medication - what had it actually been for? He wasn't a sociopath, so what had he been medicated for? And almost more importantly; what had triggered Andrew's mania tonight? He had implied it had been caused by Sheena's comment about Neil being abusive - Neil's body bristled at just the thought of it.  
At half-time, the two teams walked off the court, the Foxes panting and grinning; they were in the lead, 4-0.  
When Neil got to the lounge, he frowned. Andrew was sitting there on the sofa, grinning, next to a confused and irritated looking Kevin.   
"OK, maggots," Wymack said, clapping his hands once to get their attention. "We've got a good lead but that doesn't mean you get to slack in the second half." He went on to list which of the subs were getting put on, and who the other team's new line up was.  
"Josten, you're getting subbed out for at least the first part," Wymack said. Neil stared.   
"But I'm good to play another half, Coach."  
"Congratulations. Didn't ask."  
"Coach -"  
"Physically? Yeah you're 'fine' for another half," Wymack said, and Neil gritted his teeth at the implication. "But up here?" Wymack gestured to his head. "Not happening. You're off your game tonight. So no arguments."  
Neil sighed.   
"Give me a 'yes, Coach'."  
Neil bit his cheek. "Yes, Coach. "  
"Good. Now that that half is settled -" He turned to look at Andrew who was at Neil's side.  
"Are you still good for another half? They'll come back fighting and the new goalies aren't ready for that yet."  
Andrew shrugged.  
"Sure," he said cheerfully, grin bright.  
"Ok, apparently none of you are going to say it," Jack said, "so I will; what the actual fuck?" He gestured to Andrew, and Neil realised all of the freshmen were giving him curious glances. They had never seen him manic before - this was the first time any of them had seen anything other than the bored mask. The other Foxes were giving him concerned looks, almost all of them looking confused. All of them except Renee, who had only given him a few words and then gracefully bowed down.  
Neil wondered if she knew why he had actually been medicated; yes it had been for his violent tendencies, but clearly he had been manic before the medication. What if that had only heightened it, rather than induced it?  
"I mean," Jack continued, "is he high or something?"  
Kevin shook his head. "Andrew doesn't care enough to try and sabotage us by getting high before a game."  
"Then what? Did Neil blow him in the wings beforehand?"  
Neil shot a glare at Jack, who shrugged. Before Neil could answer that, Sheena laughed.  
"Oh, maybe he did. Or maybe he threatened to." She leveled a cold glare on them both. "He's Andrew's type - an abusive ass like all the others."  
Neil felt himself sneer as he began to bite out a retort, but was cut off by Andrew's laughter. Before any of them could move, he was across the room with Sheena against the wall and a knife against her throat.  
Wymack groaned, facepalming.   
"Don't," Andrew said with a cheer none of them believed. "Or they'll be the last words you ever speak."  
"Defending the abuser," Sheena said, voice wavering slightly. "First sign of Stockholm Syndrome."  
Andrew put pressure on the blade and Sheena went silent. Neil knew he only had a few seconds to talk Andrew down - his mania made him even more bored and so even more likely to do something brash. In the corner of his eye, Neil could see Dan and Allison fencing the other Freshmen back so they didn't intervene.  
"Andrew," Neil began, then glanced at Nicky and Aaron before switching to German. "What the fuck?"  
Andrew only laughed again, and Neil could see his wrist beginning to twist and Sheena's eyes grew wide.   
Shit.  
He switched tactics.  
"Killing her will be boring," he said in German, slowly stepping towards the pair, arm outstretched. "She won't whine or beg or even do much - she'll maybe hiss once and that'll be that. You know it. Why bother? She's not even worth it."  
"From one fox to another, that's a little hypocritical, rabbit," Andrew answered in German. Neil took that as a good sign as he edged closer.  
"True. But wouldn't you rather rub her face in how pointless her drama is on the court rather than kill her now and just cause more drama? The game would be canceled, and we might even have to play this team again if that happens. Let her go and we can go back on court and get this over with."  
Even though Andrew was still looking at Sheena, his tilted head told Neil he was listening.  
Andrew hummed, before pulling the knife away and stepping back with a relaxed shrug. He spun on his heel and walked towards Neil, knife disappeared into one of his sheaves, face innocent.   
"Fair, fair," he said. "And here I was thinking you weren't a team player." Andrew paused beside Neil and leant up to stage-whisper in his ear. "How surprising. Got any more talents up those sleeves?"  
Neil sighed and Andrew laughed, flopping down on the sofa once again and looking around like nothing had happened.  
"Fuck," Wymack grunted. "Sheena, go find Abby. The rest of you, line up." Neil looked over in time to see Sheena with a hand against her neck, a thin and unthreatening trickle of red smudged beneath her fingers. She nodded at Coach and made her way out the room, legs unsteady.  
The team filed out, and Neil watched from the bench as the new subs went onto court. The game began and he found himself looking at Andrew more than the others. If someone asked him how one of the players was doing he wouldn't be able to answer. But he didn't care - all he cared about was Andrew.   
Wymack gestured and Neil looked at him before standing and walking over.   
"What the bloody hell is going on with that dingbat?" he asked quietly. Neil grimaced.  
"Sheena told him she 'knew' I'm like Drake," Neil replied quietly, trying not to bristle too much. It didn't help. "He snapped, punched out a mirror and somehow went mani-"  
Neil's words stuck in his throat. It didn't add up. Sheena was always saying stuff like that- most of the freshmen were. Not about Neil specifically, but about Andrew's 'taste', how it was always abusive asshats he was attracted to, how they had made him be just like them, how he must have enjoyed it. Every time, Andrew just ignored them or bit them off - he never reacted like this.  
"Josten?"  
"I-"   
Neil's brain whirled as it processed everything, raked through the memories of sober Andrew with the freshmen, Andrew's own words earlier that day in Abbey's room - all the comments had been about him and his taste. All their comments about Neil had been to compare him to his father. But none of them had compared him to Drake or the others.  
"Neil." Wymack clicked his fingers and Neil blinked up at him. "The fuck?"  
Neil's chest constricted as he answered slowly.  
"He was defending me."  
"What?"  
"Jack made a comment about Andrew enjoying being - hurt. He brushed it off. Nicky made a comment about being horny. He brushed it off. Sheena made a comment about me being abusive and it set him off." Neil couldn't help but smile slightly. Apparently he wasn't the only one with the martyr complex.  
Wymack pinched the bridge of his nose.  
"Minyard went psycho because a brat made a comment about your relationship with him, but he can brush off all the other shit they say?"  
"He doesn't care about himself but he cares about others even if he won't admit it." Now, Neil was seriously questioning Andrew's so-called "apathy".  
Wymack groaned.  
"After the game, talk to him and get him back to fucking neutral ground. I don't need anyone getting knifed."  
"Yes Coach."  
Neil walked back to his seat, a muffled "And get me a pay-raise while you're at it."  
"Yes Coach. "  
Wymack flipped him off but Neil barely noticed.  
He spent the rest of the game looking at Andrew in goal.

\-------

Neil stared.  
Andrew stared back.  
They were in the study hall with the rest of the Foxes, and Andrew still hadn't came down from his manic high.  
"What happened?" Dan hissed at Neil. They were standing with Matt at one of the tables, watching Andrew. Normally he didn't care for celebration - usually he and Neil headed back to the dorm and left the others to party. This time, though, he seemed unbothered by the growing crowd.  
"I don't know," Neil replied. When Dan gave him the side-eye, Neil grimaced. "I'm not completely sure," he amended. "I've got an idea but -"  
"But it's hard to explain in a way that doesn't make him sound psycho?" Matt guessed. Neil glared but didn't argue.   
"Fair enough," Dan said. "But when you figure it out, let us know? So we know what to avoid?"  
Neil nodded.  
Then he heard a laugh which made him cringe. Katelyn had arrived with the rest of the Vixens. She hadn't seen Andrew manic - well she had, but that mania had been drug induced and she hadn't been dating Aaron at the time.  
"I better get him out of here," Neil said. "He doesn't like her enough when he's- when he's not manic."  
He started towards Andrew without waiting on Dan or Matt to reply.  
"'Drew," he said as he got close. Andrew raised a brow at him, grin still as wide.   
"Oh, Neil," Andrew said.  
"We should get going," Neil said.   
Andrew tilted his head in question. "Why?"  
"It's getting too crowded," Neil said, trying not to glance behind him at Katelyn who was now fawning over Aaron. "Don't you want to go back to the dorm?"  
Andrew hummed as if he were thinking, before shrugging and starting towards the door.   
"Rabbit," he called and Neil grimaced at the name but followed, eyes peeled for anyone who might grab Andrew's attention.  
They continued through the building and across the lot without incident. Neil didn't know if he was meant to talk or stay silent. Andrew hadn't said a word, only hummed a non-committal and tuneless tune.   
By the time they made it back to the dorm, Neil was tempted to take one of Andrew's knives and try to cut the tension out of himself. But that probably wouldn't help much.  
After he shut and locked the door behind them, Neil looked at Andrew. He thought he deserved some credit for not flinching backwards when Andrew was barely inches from him.  
"Andrew-"  
Neil was cut off by Andrew's lips on his, kissing him hungrily. Andrew's fingers were in his hair, his body pressing Neil's against the door.  
Neil groaned, but kept his hands behind his back, and didn't kiss back - when Andrew tugged at his lip Neil tugged backwards until there were a few centimetres between them.  
"No," Neil gasped. "Andrew, no."  
Andrew paused, but didn't pull away. By now he had his hands back on Neil's neck.  
"I'm not consenting, Andrew." Neil tried to keep his voice even. "Not when you're like this."  
Andrew tilted his head, grin widening.  
"Like what?"  
"Manic. It's not going to be a yes when you're manic - it just doesn't feel right."  
Andrew hummed, tapping his fingers alongside Neil's pulse. It was slightly faster than normal.  
"Funny," the other man mused. "Didn't you say it's always a yes with me?"  
"Except when it's not," Neil replied. Andrew raised both brows, eyes mocking. They were both silent - Neil counted nine heartbeats before Andrew sighed dramatically but took three exaggerated steps backwards, arms up as if in surrender.  
But he was laughing.   
"Fine," he laughed, before turning on his heel and walking down the hallway and into the bathroom. Neil stayed against the door, silent; about a minute later, he heard the shower cut on.  
Surprised, Neil made his way quietly to the kitchen to find something to eat. Normally Andrew wasn't so... reliant.. on his needs - usually he had the self control of a saint. Neil rolled his eyes at himself; normally Andrew wasn't manic.  
Ten minutes later, Andrew padded into the den, hair towel dried and in a loose hoody and sweats. By then, Neil had gotten himself some water and a sandwich. When Andrew saw the food he just raised his brows in question - Neil tilted his head to the counter. "Yours is there," he said. Andrew hummed but didn't say anything as he made his way around and picked up his sandwich, opening it to see what was inside; Neil had just put some cheese and ham in with jam, guessing it would be sweet enough without the sugar rush. Neil watched him carefully- his grin was still in place, but not as wide; now it was more like a smirk or that smile someone had when they were waiting on a punchline.   
"Staring, Pinochio," Andrew said, voice still laced with sarcastic joy.  
"Pretty sure that name suits you better, right now," Neil replied. Andrew looked at him with a bemused expression.  
"I was wondering where that tongue had gone."  
Neil licked his lips. "What set you off?"  
"Oh, you're going to have to be more specific than that, Josten," Andrew mocked.  
"What triggered the mania?"  
Andrew tutted. "That memory of yours is getting worse," he said, lips curling in a crude smirk.  
"Was it Sheena saying I'm like them? Like Dra-"  
Andrew's expression darkened slightly and Neil's words froze in his throat.  
But when Andrew didn't argue Neil knew the answer.   
"Are you always this horny when you're manic?" Neil asked once Andrews expression had neutralised to the bemused toothy smirk.   
Andrew laughed. "Someone's curious tonight," he said.  
"So humour me."   
Andrew hummed again as he began eating the sandwich.  
"Usually," he said almost two minutes later. "Comes with the deal."  
"What deal?"  
Andrew lifted a finger in a tutting motion. But his eyes and smirk were mocking.   
"Oh," he said. "Wouldn't you love to know."  
With that, he dropped the crusts back on the counter and made his way back down the hallway. Neil caught a "And you idiots are on the beanbags tonight," before Andrew shut the bedroom door behind himself.

In the morning, Kevin grumbled about having to sleep on a chair since Nicky had called dibs on the remaining beanbag. But Neil didn't care about them - all he cared about was that Andrew's expression was blank again, no hint of a grin in sight.

\----

Neil and Andrew sat on the roof in silence, Andrew smoking and Neil cupping his cigarette in his hand. It was twilight and the entire campus looked hidden beneath a thin layer of mist.   
Earlier in the day, the team had gone to the Girls' room for a movie marathon; it had begun at 10am and was still going. Andrew had glared but agreed to go along because Neil and Kevin were. When the others had seen his straight face, they had all shot looks at Neil. Dan had even gone as far as pulling him into the kitchen under the pretence of getting snacks to grill him about what had happened, how he had gotten Andrew to calm down, what had set him off in the first place. Neil stepped around the questions as best he could - "He was defending me. Sheena told him she knew I'm just like the - like Drake, and that's what set him off. He can brush off insults to himself and he can brush off when the others compare me to Nathanial and his father, because Andrew knows they don't matter now, but he holds his standards and himself very far apart from his past so her saying I was like Drake pissed him off and sent him into the episode."   
When he had said that, Dan had looked like she wanted to cry and punch Sheena at the same time. She had asked again how Neil had calmed him down and Neil sidestepped again - "I just let him have his own space to get it out of his system." It wasn't a lie, but he wasn't about to tell Dan Andrew had jacked off in the shower which had started the crash and then kicked the others out the bedroom and likely gotten himself off a few more times before passing out. She just really didn't need to know that.  
Dan had nodded, accepting Neil's vague answer, likely knowing the real answer crossed too many boundaries.   
"Is he ok now though? Like is he still crashing or is he norm-" She grimaced and Neil tried not to glare.   
"I think he's still crashing, but he might just be really tired."   
Dan had nodded and then let him go through to the other room with his arms full of food packets.  
They had all watched an entire saga of movies before Neil had noticed Andrew beginning to twitch. It was subtle enough the others didn't notice but Neil was right next to him and tuned into Andrew's language so knew "I'm fucking bored and might stab someone if they make one more veiled reference" when he saw it. When the others had split up for bathroom break and food break, he had tugged gently on Andrew's jumper.  
"Wanna go up to the roof for a bit?" The words had barely gotten out of his mouth before Andrew nodded. With that, they had stood up, Neil waving to grab Matt's attention.  
"Can you let Dan know we're just gonna go the now?"  
"Sure. You two ok?"  
"I think so," Neil hedged - Andrew was already out the door. "Just staying on the safe side the now."  
Matt had nodded and Neil had jogged to catch up with Andrew.  
Now, almost two hours later, they had made their way through half a pack of cigarettes, and still hadn't said anything.  
Finally Neil couldn't take it anymore.   
"Are you ok?"  
Andrew flicked him a bored look.  
"Are you still crashing or are you just worn out?"   
Andrew tilted his head slightly before sighing and flicking the half-smoked cigarette over the edge.  
"Tired."  
Neil nodded - he wasn't surprised.  
"Do you always have to tire yourself out to get the mania away?"  
Andrew shrugged ever so slightly, expression still masked.   
"Usually."  
"When was the last time you went manic?"  
This time Andrew was silent for almost two minutes before answering.  
"About a month ago."  
Neil blinked. What?  
"How come we didn't see it?"  
"Bee usually deals with it." Andrew's tone was growing more and more dismissive with every answer.  
Of course, Neil thought.   
"Does it happen in front of Aaron?"  
"No." Andrew paused before elaborating. "I see Bee with him every Wednesday. I see her alone every other Friday."  
Neil frowned, before it clicked.  
"Is that where you go on some Friday mornings while the rest of us are at gym?"  
Andrew nodded slightly and Neil was silent as he processed that.  
"How does she bring you out of it?"  
"Push-ups and sit ups on her floor. Then laps around the parking lot since its still empty. Sometimes around the green as well."  
Neil stared blindly in front of him, knowing better than to stare at Andrew right now.   
Morning gym was 6-8. Andrew almost always left around 5:30. Assuming his Friday sessions with Betsy were still the standard hour, that meant he was seeing her 6-7, and then had that extra hour and a half to either go back to sleep, or apparently to run himself ragged in the parking lot and then shower and get dressed in time for classes starting. How had Neil not thought of this before now?  
When he came back to himself he realised the silence between them had turned stoney. Andrew had gave all that information without a fight and Neil still hadn't gave anything back.  
"I'm sorry - I should have guessed you were doing something important in that time. I just thought you came up here to have your own time or something." He paused, carefully looking over at Andrew. "I miss you on those Friday mornings but I get how important they are now."  
Andrew hummed, and Neil licked his lips. "Do you want me to shut up?"  
Andrew flicked a glance at him. "We both know you're not done."  
"I can be for now, if you want."  
Andrew was silent. They each got through another cigarette before he looked at Neil, a vaguely expectant expression on his face. Neil took that as permission to continue with the questions.  
"Is this mania the same as the drug one?"  
"No."  
"Why not?"  
"The medicated one was that - medicated. Constant high, but controlled. It never sank below a certain level." Andrew grimaced before surprising Neil by raising one hand to the air between them, and gesturing in a vaguely similar way to how Matt had explained Andrew's highs and medication when Neil had first began playing with the team.  
"The medicated one was always here," Andrew said, hand in line with his shoulder. He dropped it a few inches then returned it to the top again as he spoke. "It never went past here, and always returned to here." He dropped it slightly lower, about half way down his arm. "When I came off them for games or Edens, it never went lower than here." He paused to make sure Neil was still following, before continuing. "When they took me off it, I had to hit rock bottom - natural manic low - before they could get me back up to 'normal', here." As he spoke, Andrew dropped his hand down to his wrist, then raised it to his elbow. When Neil nodded that he was still following, Andrew spoke again.   
"This mania rarely goes that high or that low. Yesterday went from here to here-" He moved his hand from his elbow to just above halfway up his arm, "-and last night from here to here-" From halfway up his arm to halfway down, "and then back to here." Back the his elbow.  
Neil nodded. That made sense.   
"Did I do the right thing?" he asked a few minutes later. "By telling you no?"  
Andrew stubbed his cigarette out.  
"Yes."  
"Can you consent when you're manic?"  
"No."  
Neil relaxed. He had done the right thing, after all. And then -   
"What was the medication actually for?"  
Andrew flicked him a bored look.  
"You can figure that out yourself." Neil watched as Andrew stood up and began walking back to the door.  
"Are the rest of us allowed back in the bedroom tonight?"  
"Yes," Andrew replied and Neil smiled, stubbing his cigarette out and following after Andrew, who was waiting in the stairwell.  
"Thank you," Neil quietly murmured. Then he paused. "You can ask me whatever you want - it's only fair."  
Andrew considered him for a few seconds before turning. Neil smiled, following him back to their dorm room, which was still empty. Neil locked it behind them, turning to find Andrew a step away from him.  
"Yes or no?" Andrew asked.  
Neil grinned. "Yes."  
Andrew kissed him, gently pressing him back into the door. This time, Neil let him, only touching where and when Andrew gave him permission to. He was so glad he had made the right call.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew's mania makes another appearance and Neil helps him through it while Aaron learns something new

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "What about the Foxes seeing Andrew as a person rather than a monster?"

It was Sunday and all the Foxes had gathered in Matt and Aaron's room for card games and drinks. Nicky and Andrew had mixed them all, and Neil was slowly making his way through a full glass of whatever concoction Andrew had handed him. Andrew meanwhile was already close to finishing his second glass.  
A few of the Foxes were still flashing weary looks at Andrew which Neil tried to ignore - they had just seen him manic for the first time that Friday and then seemingly fine the day before in the Girl's room until he and Neil left early. The Freshmen gave him a wide berth and Jack and Sheena stayed on the other side of the room.  
Despite what the others had seen the day before, Neil knew Andrew wasn't fine.   
Proof: that morning when they had gotten up, Andrew hadn't said yes and Neil was still waiting for that no to change. But Andrew hadn't let him touch him or kiss him all day and hadn't so much as brushed Neil's jumper, and it was starting to worry Neil. Usually when this happened it meant Andrew had had a nightmare again. And nightmares often increased the odds of mania - at least that's what the websites said. Since Andrew wouldn't tell Neil what he had been medicated for, but had also implied it would be easy for Neil to work out, Neil had turned to Google. He knew he couldn't ask Dobson - she was bound by doctor- patient confidentiality, and Neil didn't want to go to Wymack until he had a few ideas. After an hour of research he had narrowed his options down to three forms of bipolar and two types of depressive disorders, along with something called "conduct disorder"; the information on all but the last of them had said that if the person had vivid nightmares they would be more at risk of having a "manic or hypomanic episode". Neil had decided he would ask Wymack and maybe Abby about it all on Monday after practice.  
But it wasn't just the nightmare and lack of contact that had Neil watching Andrew in his peripheral vision; each time Neil had asked Andrew how he was that day, Andrew had either sidestepped the question or not answered at all.  
But Neil knew better than to press.  
Now, the original Foxes were scattered around the furniture and the freshmen were on the floor.  
Aaron had been throwing glances their way all evening, but now he walked over.  
"Hey," he said cautiously. Luckily Andrew and Neil were sitting on the kitchen counter at the window, Andrew smoking and Neil just needing away from the chaos of the group.   
Andrew flicked a bored glance at his brother but didn't shoo him away. Neil glanced between them.  
"Want me to fuck off?"  
"No-"  
"Yes-"  
They both answered at once and Neil froze half way off the counter, looking between them. Andrew scowled at his brother.  
"No," he repeated. Aaron shot a quick dirty look at Neil but didn't argue. Neil compromised for them and moved so he was a cupboard down, still within Andrew's sight but out of Aaron's immediate vision.  
"So uhm," Aaron began, awkwardly moving to stand in front of Andrew after a seconds hesitation. Neil could tell Aaron was trying to read Andrew's body language; Neil knew Andrew wasn't sure what he wanted his body to say. After a few more seconds though, Andrew brought his knee up to rest his chin on and tilted his head at his brother. He was listening and trying to keep himself feeling protected; Neil looked away so Andrew wouldn't see his grin.   
Apparently Aaron understood this move too - maybe it was something they had agreed on with Betsy. Aaron relaxed slightly and tried starting his sentence again.  
"What happened on Friday? I mean you haven't gone manic in ages-"  
Andrew raised his brow at that but stayed silent. Aaron didn't seem to notice but Neil did; normally when Andrew really was calm he only done micro expressions. He never done fully visible ones unless he was manic.  
Shit.  
"-I mean was it Nicky and Jack earlier on? Was it me?"  
Andrew shrugged, blowing out a breath of smoke.  
"It wasn't you."  
Aaron seemed relieved at that.  
Andrew thought as he twirled his cigarette around between his fingers, likely debating how much he was willing to tell Aaron.  
"Sheena told Neil she knew more about our relationship than us," he eventually said. "She said he was the same as Drake."  
"And that set you off?" Aaron asked carefully. Andrew only blinked in return but that was apparently enough confirmation for Aaron.  
Neil looked towards the rest of the team, trying not to obviously watch the twins. Matt and Dan were on the sofa with Nicky, Allison and Renee were cuddled up together in a chair - it looked cramped but the complicated pretzel of their intertwined legs looked more so - and the freshmen were relaxed on the floor. Kevin was on the arm of the sofa, for once without a drink in hand.  
Someone knocked on the door and Dan stood up to answer it.  
"I might have gotten the phrasing slightly wrong," she said as soon as she saw who was on the other side.   
"You said Aaron went after Andrew," Wymack's voice said gruffly. Neil rolled his eyes.  
"Well," Dan said as the man walked in, followed by Abby and then Betsy - Neil wasn't surprised. If Dan had texted Wymack that Aaron had cornered Andrew of course Wymack would bring the backup he thought he needed as well as the aftercare.  
"It turns out they haven't killed each other and Neil hasn't had to break anything up," Dan was saying. Wymack raised his eyebrows when he looked in the kitchen and saw the two brothers talking. He flicked a look at Neil before turning back to the group. Abby beamed. Betsy - Neil wasn't sure when he had stopped thinking of her as Dobson - smiled at Neil before gesturing for him to follow her. Neil glanced back at Andrew and Aaron, who were now talking quietly. Andrew's range of expressions was still setting Neil on edge but he seemed relaxed enough for now, so Neil hopped off the counter and followed her into the next room, then into the relative privacy of the hallway.  
"David told me what happened," she said quietly. "But I'd like to hear your side of it, if that's alright."  
Neil chewed his lip.  
"Sheena told Andrew I'm abusive and hurt him like the others - like Drake," Neil quickly amended, but judging by how calm Betsy looked, Andrew had long since told her there had been more than one. "He went manic and tried to break his hand - he didn't get further than punching a mirror twice before Nicky took him to Abby."  
Betsy nodded. "And then?"  
"Then she cleaned it up, Coach appeared, Andrew shoved them both out, told me what set him off after I asked, let them back in, let Abby bandage his hand and then the game started."  
"And Andrew played the whole game."  
Neil nodded even though it wasn't a question.  
"He attacked Sheena in half time though," he said. "She deserved it."  
"How so?" Betsy had her head tilted. Neil briefly wondered who had picked up who's habit.  
"She made another Drake reference - Andrew had a knife to her throat in seconds."  
"But he didn't hurt her?"  
"I talked him down," Neil said.  
Betsy pursed her lips, nodding three times as she considered her next words.  
"What happened after the game?"  
"We all went down to the study hall and I got Andrew out of there before he had the chance to go for Katelyn," Neil surmised. "Then we just came back here. Well, our dorm." Obviously.  
"And then?"  
Oh, she was detailed, Neil had to give her that. Of course she would want to know if Andrew's mania had subsided and how.   
"He calmed himself down, I got him some food, then he went to bed early," Neil summed up.   
"Where did you sleep?"  
"On the beanbag - Nicky and Kevin came back hungover so they fell asleep on the other beanbag and floor without much complaining."  
Apparently that was enough information for Betsy to understand.  
"And in the morning?"  
"I think he was still crashing all day," Neil said after a pause. "He seemed tired obviously but it was something else. I think he calmed down in the evening though."  
"You don't sound convinced."  
Neil chewed his lip.  
"I think he had a nightmare last night," he said at last. "He hasn't let me even touch his jumper all day."  
Betsy nodded her head another three times. Always threes.  
Before she could ask anything else, there was a clattering in the kitchen.  
"You piece of shit!"  
"Fuck," Neil said as he sprinted into the room where Allison of all people was shooing the freshmen out.  
"But we've already seen him manic-"  
"Good for you. Now fuck off," Allison said quickly, before shutting the door behind them all and turning to face Neil.  
"I gave up everything for you!" Andrew was saying, sounding far too happy and pissed off at the same time. When Neil rounded into the kitchen doorway, Andrew had Aaron pinned against the window. Neil could only see Aaron's face, and Andrew had his back to the room.   
Shit shit shit.   
"Cass was going to adopt me - I was finally going to have someone who gave more than half a shit about me."  
"But Dra-"  
"Drake was something I could put up with if it meant I got to keep her," Andrew replied. "I knew I just had to put up with him until he left for the navy. But no. You just had to get in fucking contact didn't you? And you couldn't take a fucking hint."  
"Then why the fuck did you not just go back to her after Luther paid your bail?" Aaron spat back. "If she was so perfect and you were having the time of your life?"  
"Because of you you fucker! You know what Drake said when he saw the letters you sent? When he found out I had an identical twin brother who was so excited to come visiting? Do you? He said it was perfect, and so amazing, the odds were a miracle- now he would be able to have a fucking threesome, that the two of us in bed together would be so fucking hot, how he would be able to take turns with each of us. He wanted Cass to agree to you visiting so he could play big brother with both of us, so the three of us could have happy sleepovers together, so he could fuck you too!"   
By now Andrew genuinely sounded upset - all of the Foxes were staring at the pair and Neil was frozen in the doorway.  
"I knew that couldn't happen! I got myself thrown in juvie because of you - I gave up Cass and the last chance I had at a family because of you you piece of shit! And Tilda- do you think I wanted to hurt you? Do you think I wanted you to know how fucking shit it feels not having a mother? No! But you never saw that did you - you only gave a shit about her, not me. I didn't want to kill her but I fucking had to! Don't you get it? I gave up everything because of you!"  
Andrew's voice broke and Aaron's eyes widened even more - he was two or three shades paler than normal and Andrew's hand was shaking slightly against his collar.  
Fuck.  
Neil gestured for the rest of the Foxes to clear out the way so they weren't the first thing Andrew clocked when he turned around. Wymack, Abby and Betsy shooed them back to the sofa, chairs and floor.  
"'Drew?" Neil asked softly after both twins had been silent for a few seconds.  
Andrew stilled.  
"'Drew," Neil said again, firmer.  
Andrew's hand released Aaron's collar but he didn't move. Neil gestured for Aaron to move first.   
Slowly, Aaron sidestepped around Andrew and made his way to Neil. It looked like he was on the brink of crying.  
"Go to Bee," Neil said quietly and Aaron went into the next room.  
At the mention of Betsy, Andrew turned around. Neil was already expecting the grin, but wasn't expecting the raw eyes. He hadn't seen Andrew cry before but he knew fine well the last thing Andrew would want was for the rest of the team to see it too.  
Neil made sure his expression and tone sounded bored.  
"Leaving now," was all he said and turned on his heel, not glancing at the others as he opened the door and left the dorm. Seven steps down the hallway, he heard Andrew's footsteps following behind him.  
Neil didn't turn back or say anything as he lead them downstairs, across campus and to the Court.   
"Seriously?" Andrew asked at last as they walked into the stadium.  
Neil shrugged, turning to face the blonde, who's cheeks were now teary.  
"You saying you don't have the energy to run laps around here?" Neil asked, raising his brow. Andrew gulped.   
After a few seconds of silence, Neil shrugged.  
"You probably couldn't outrun me, though."  
Andrew laughed at this. It was weak and watery and broken sounding but it was something.  
"Outrun the rabbit?" he countered. Before Neil could reply, Andrew was making his way through the tunnel and towards the stands. Neil followed, and together they ran up and down the steps, along the stands, the bleachers, the court, the entire stadium. Neil had to admit by the third time going up and down the stands, his legs were burning like nothing else but he knew it would subside.  
By the third time going round the entire stadium though, he thought he would never feel his legs again. How could he play whole games without feeling this burn? Shit.  
But Andrew was still going so Neil didn't slow.  
On the fourth lap, though, Andrew slowed to a jog, then a walk, and then completely. Neil stopped beside him, and watched as Andrew sank down onto his knees, and then sat down on the court floor, wrapping his arms around his knees and bringing them up to his face. His entire frame was shaking - whether from exertion or from the sudden heaving sobs, Neil wasn't sure. Probably both.  
Slowly, Neil sat down a foot in front of the blonde.  
They sat like that for almost ten minutes before Andrew spoke.  
"I don't regret it," he muttered, voice tight and watery. "I don't regret killing Tilda or giving Cass up or putting up with Drake or any of the others." Neil stayed silent, waiting.   
"I'd do it again if I had to. I'd do it all again if it meant -"  
Andrew cut himself off, gulping loudly.  
"If it meant what?" Neil prodded after a few seconds.   
"If it meant he was safe," Andrew whispered.  
They stayed like that for another five minutes before Andrew wiped at his face. Neil could see the remnants of that smile and even though his legs ached he didn't say anything as he stood and followed Andrew on another two laps.  
By the time they got back to the lounge, Neil's legs were shaking. He was definitely going to remember this method.  
"Do you want to shower here or back at the dorm?" Neil asked softly. While Andrew was clearly beginning to tire and crash again, he still had a watery half grin. It was more like a smile but his teeth were still bared so Neil knew he wasn't completely worn out yet.  
"At the dorm," Andrew decided.  
Neil followed him out the stadium, across the lot and back to the Tower.   
' ** _R u 2 still w the others?_** ' Neil texted Nicky quickly. The last thing Andrew needed was their dorm already being full.  
' ** _Yeah_** ' Nicky replied seconds later, and then ' ** _R u 2 ok?'_**  
' ** _Will b',_ **Neil replied. **_'How's AA?'_**  
 ** _'He's having hot chocol8 w Bee - we both r'_**  
Neil smiled. ' ** _OK- I'll let u know when it's safe to come back'_**  
With that he put his phone in his pocket and followed Andrew through the door to the hallway.  
Neil locked their dorm door behind them while Andrew headed straight for the bathroom.   
Ten minutes later, he walked back out in slacks and a hoody, and took the container of ice cream Neil offered, eyes still red but thankfully his teeth weren't on show anymore - there was only the slightest hint of a smile.   
Neil showered, trying to be as quick as possible - when he came out he sat down on the beanbag next to Andrew.  
"Can I have some?" he asked, and Andrew flicked a familiar bored look at him.  
"Not without a spoon, idiot."  
Neil smiled to himself as he fetched a spoon and sat in front of Andrew, who held the container between them both and didn't object as Neil helped himself.  
Half an hour later once the ice cream was done, Andrew looked at Neil, face back to being a blank mask.  
"Yes or no?"  
Neil smiled.  
"Yes," he said. This time when Andrew kissed him, his hands clutched Neil's jumper, and he tasted of ice cream; Neil would lie on the carpet forever if it meant Andrew would keep kissing him.  
That night, Andrew climbed into his bunk and Neil happily got into his own bed.

...

In the morning, Allison and Dan cornered Neil at gym.  
"How's Andrew?" It took Neil a beat to realise Allison had called Andrew by his name.  
"You're actually calling him Andrew now?" he asked, surprised. Allison shrugged.   
"Maybe he's not as much of a monster as we thought."  
Neil didn't stop grinning for the rest of the day.


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go do research before you yell at me for non-canon or OOC behaviour

It started out slowly. First Andrew noticed how careful Neil was beginning to be around him, how he seemed to be walking on eggshells at times, how scared he seemed to be of setting Andrew off. Oh, the irony.   
Then Andrew noticed the distance - Neil was usually quite touchy-feely, or as much as he could be. But then he stopped asking, and took to waiting for Andrew to ask first, which Andrew loathed. Their late nights on the roof which usually became heated in their own way grew cooler, Neil's hands more cautious, his mouth almost timid - he brought his own cigarettes instead of stealing Andrew's, but didn't object when Andrew stole them.   
And then Andrew noticed his expressions. Or rather, put them together. The way Neil's eyes had widened during Andrew's mania, the way he had carefully kept his voice emotionless. At the time Andrew had assumed it was because Neil knew that was the best way to reach Andrew; now, though, Andrew thought it was so Neil could guard himself. Andrew thought of the way Neil watched him out of the corner of his eyes all the time; before it had been habit, Neil's annoyingly stupid staring habit Andrew would never admit to liking... now, it seemed more like the look he used to have every time he walked in a room, as he quickly scoped out all the exit routes in case he had to run.  
Run.  
Andrew felt so stupid when he realised it. But also so fucking angry - at Neil, at himself, at Drake and Chris and Jesse... at everything.   
Neil was afraid of him. Andrew really was like them - he had tried not to be, he never wanted to be like them. Yet he had became what he had promised himself and Neil he would never be.   
When he was manic, his brain wasn't in control. Yes his brain was still there, but it was overrun by want, by need, by action. He wanted to touch Neil, needed to feel his pulse, so he did. He wanted to be close to Neil, needed the weight of his body, so he did. He wanted to kiss Neil, needed to feel his lips and his breath and his teeth, so he did.  
His mania didn't allow for permission, for consent on either side. Yet he couldn't stop it. No matter how loudly he screamed at himself in his mind, he couldn't stop his hands from reaching out and pushing Neil against the door, couldn't stop his lips from kissing him, couldn't stop couldn't stop couldn't stop.   
Neil had gotten through to him time and time again just in time to stop things escalating, and he knew what buttons to press and when.  
But last night... Neil had seen Andrew go for Aaron, had seen him hurt and scare the brother he had once sworn to protect and love. Love. Hah - brotherly love; like Andrew really knew anything about that. The only "brotherly love" he had ever known had involved fists and cuffs and pain and blood. No wonder he had lashed out at Aaron, no wonder he had wanted to hit him, to strangle him, to make him feel as helpless as Andrew did.  
But Neil had stopped him again. Neil had gotten through to him using things Andrew had taught him.  
Andrew had thought it was because Neil cared about him, but of course that was wrong. Neil had stopped Andrew because he was scared of him. Neil didn't want to see Andrew go dark, because he knew exactly what that would entail - probably more so than Andrew did. Neil somehow knew what Andrew would have ended up doing to him in the medical room, in the dorm, in the court, what Andrew would have ended up doing to Aaron.  
Andrew hated it. But more than that he hated himself. How had he not seen this coming? Of course he knew he didn't deserve love, didn't deserve to be cared about or for, didn't deserve gentle touches and kind laughter and soft, consensual kisses and touches, didn't deserve Aaron, didn't deserve family, didn't deserve Neil.  
Neil was scared of him. Was so scared of him, he couldn't even tell him. Was so scared he went back to his old rabbit habits.  
How had Andrew not noticed this? He should have told Neil sooner, should have been honest with him - but he hadn't been. Oh, the clarity of hindsight.  
He should have told Neil the truth when he got out of Easthaven, should have told him the truth before "nothing" became "this" became "us".   
He should have told him the first time he went manic at Bee's. He should have told him when he almost broke Allison's neck. He should have told him after they won against the Ravens. He should have told him the first time he had a low, a crash so bad he asked to see Bee more often. He should have told him the other night on the roof. Instead he told Neil to find out for himself - and Neil had. Andrew had seen the search history on the laptop, had seen the notes Neil thought he had hidden, had seen the look in Neil's eyes the first time he looked at Andrew after finding out.  
Andrew kicked the doorframe. He should have told him.  
Now Neil was at morning gym with the rest of the team, away from Andrew. Andrew hadn't thought anything of it half an hour ago, but now it was glaringly obvious; Neil had only asked him if he was going with them once. Usually Neil would ask him, go for a shower, come back, ask again, ask to come up to Andrew's bunk, and ask again.   
But this morning he had only asked once.  
Andrew kicked the doorframe again, then another few times for good measure. Stupid, stupid, stupid.  
Another half hour later, he went for a shower. He hit his fists against the tiled walls until they began to ache and bruise, before sinking down onto the floor, the water raining over him.  
Bruises. Aches.   
He had taken his annoyance out on the shower wall last night- Neil probably thought he was jacking off again, but he hadn't been; he was too upset for that to do any good. Instead he had hit and kicked the walls until bruises had formed, and then made sure to wear a jumper long enough it covered his hands.   
Neil hadn't even noticed. Just like Cass had never noticed.  
Andrew ran his fingers along the pale scars criss-crossing his forearms. Cass had never noticed anything. And neither did Neil.  
Neil didn't notice the pale bruises Andrew had left on his neck, hadn't noticed the bruises Andrew had left on his own thighs, hadn't noticed the bruises Andrew had left on his own hands.  
Bruises and marks meant hurt. And hurt meant abuse.  
Andrew hadn't noticed either.   
Neil wasn't hurting him, would never hurt him.   
But the same clearly couldn't be said about Andrew, whether to himself or Neil or anyone else.  
Andrew looked at himself, at all his marks.   
The thin silver scars on the side of his leg and arm from when he was seven, the consequential scar just above his hip bone where Jesse had bit him when he had tried to get away, had kept biting him until Andrew submitted and stayed still and waited for it to be over.  
The scar on his other knee and shin from when Chris had pushed him down a gravel slope so no one would see them since he decided he wanted to teach Andrew to be totally silent.  
The white lines criss-crossing his inner forearms from when he had hurt himself in order to survive Drake and keep Cass.  
The permanent scar - though Andrew doubted it was obvious to anyone but him - he had left on his own tongue when he had kept silent for Drake last year, the matching scar on his temple from that bottle.   
The intricate pale pink scars along the backs of his thighs where Proust had cut him to make him have flashbacks of all the blood, always blood, so Andrew couldn't fight back once his withdrawl wore off.  
So many scars.   
And then he looked at the fresh bruises lining his thighs, his stomach, his hands.  
How had Andrew not seen the signs?  
The others really were right; he was a monster.   
Andrew didn't realise he was crying until he started dry heaving on the shower floor.  
Stupid, stupid, stupid.  
By the time he was out the shower and dressed, he could hear the others unlocking the dorm door.  
Neil smiled at Andrew like he wasn't scared.  
"Hey, you're up."  
Andrew didn't answer, only continued to the kitchen to find something to eat that would stay down.  
Neil followed. Of course he did. That icy blue gaze which had once been curious and caring was now cautious and scared as he watched Andrew. He didn't watch him because he actually cared about Andrew; he watched because he had to make sure Andrew wasn't about to try and...  
Stupid, stupid, stupid.  
When the others left for class, Andrew paced. He didn't have classes until the afternoon. But that was too much time to kill.  
Fuck.  
He had to tell Neil. Should have told him while they were having breakfast. But he didn't, he hadn't.   
Cursing himself, he grabbed one of Neil's notebooks and a pen, scribbled down the name of the medication he had been on, and threw the open book on top of the idiot's laptop - of all the disorders Neil had considered Andrew having, only two of them (technically three but two were the same thing so it counted as two) used those anti-psychotics as a treatment. And if Neil did his research right - which Andrew knew he would now that he had that obvious piece of the puzzle - he would find that those two disorders often went hand in hand, and he would realise Andrew had both.   
Shit, shit, shit.  
Andrew left before he ripped the paper up.

Hours later, he was driving back from Colombia. He had gone to class, spaced out because he knew he could, and gone back to the dorm to dump his things before going to practice with the others. Neil had barely spoke to him - when he did, it was in short bursts and he spent most of the time watching Andrew instead.  
At break, Renee had asked Andrew if anything was bothering him - of course she could see right through him. She always did.  
"Neil's figuring it out," was all Andrew said. Because Renee knew what he had, what the medication had been for, that he still had episodes. She knew.  
Renee had nodded calmly. "Do you want him to?"  
"I should have told him."  
"You never had to. And he never asked, not really."  
"But he did. And I told him to figure it out himself."  
Renee raised a brow. "Hindsight's twenty-twenty, isn't it."  
Andrew had hummed in agreement.  
The rest of practice had dragged on, and then Andrew had gotten in his car instead of following the others into the building.   
"What-" Neil hadn't even finished his question. Because he didn't really care where Andrew was going or what he was doing - all that mattered to Neil was that Andrew was leaving.  
Stupid, stupid, stupid.  
He had gone to the only other place he could think of, the only other person who could possibly help.   
Andrew had parked on the street, and the door had opened before he had even knocked.  
"What's wrong?" Roland had asked straight away.   
Of course he knew the sound of Andrew's car, of course he knew Andrew would only come here alone if something was wrong.  
Idiot.  
"I hurt Neil and Aaron," Andrew said as he walked into the house.  
Roland shut the door and followed behind him.   
"Why?"  
"I don't fucking know."  
"Minyard, wait," Roland said as he grabbed Andrew's sleeve. Andrew stopped. "What do you mean you hurt them?"  
Andrew grit his teeth.  
"I mean I didn't give a shit if Neil consented or not, I left bruises on his neck, I scared the shit out of Aaron, I..."  
Roland was silent for a beat, and then: "So you went manic properly."  
Andrew didn't say anything but his silence was enough. The taller man sighed and tugged Andrew around to face him. "I take it this was the first time since you got clean," he said and Andrew nodded stiffly.  
Roland walked Andrew back into a wall, and kept his hands on his shoulders.   
And then they were kissing. Andrew didn't know who moved first, but did it really matter? He had forgotten what a hungry kiss felt like - Neil had grown so timid the last few days. But Roland wasn't timid, wasn't scared; he had pushed Andrew's boundaries before so knew where all the lines were now. They were different from the lines Neil knew.  
Andrew pulled away and Roland panted in front of him.  
"He's scared of me." Andrew hadn't realised he had spoken out loud until he saw the realisation of those words in Roland's gaze. "They both are. I'm just like-"  
"No." Roland's voice was loud enough to cut Andrew off, deep enough to get through to him. "I don't know Neil that well but holy shit Minyard he isn't scared of you. All that mafia shit he went through? All that shit with his parents? All that other shit I don't know about? He can deal with all of that. I mean he took on Riko for fucks sake. If he isn't scared of a fucking mafia war, why the bloody hell do you think he's scared of you?" Roland shook his head. "He saw you manic when you were on drugs, Minyard - I mean he saw that. He saw you almost break Barbie's neck. He saw you break Riko's arm. He knows you fucking strangled Kevin when you were worried you'd never see that idiot again. He knows you care about him probably more than you do. So finding out you go manic without the meds? Yeah it's shocked him sure, but no fucking way is he scared of you."  
Roland kissed Andrew's cheeks, his forehead, his lips. Andrew bit back. Roland smirked.   
"The room's still set up," he murmured. Andrew knew what he was asking and nodded, before following Roland through his house to the spare bedroom.   
"I'll be in the living room," Roland said and Andrew watched him walk back down the stairs before he walked in the room, shutting the door behind himself.  
The walls were amaturly padded with cushions and pillows and blankets, the floor covered in gymnastics mats. There was a punching bag in the corner, bandages and wraps in a box in the other corner with a pile of towels, and a crudely drawn target hung up on the back of the door.  
Andrew hesitated before pulling his shirt off - Roland knew better than to come in. It was their deal; no matter what he heard the man wouldn't disturb Andrew while he did this.  
Because this was another thing he hadn't told Neil.  
Yes, Bee usually dealt with his mania, but that mania was induced again, through the two of them discovering his triggers and buttons and lines.  
What Andrew hadn't told Neil was who dealt with Andrew's mania when it was natural, when it wasn't predictable or induced or controlled.   
Renee usually helped- their brawls weren't just for fun. But Renee had injured her arm in a game last week when a ball had hit her at full force, so Andrew didn't want to risk doing more damage.  
So that left the only other person who knew. The only other person who dealt with Andrew's mania.  
Brawling with Renee - well, with Natalie - was nice. But it was just that; brawling. Give and take, push and shove, offense and defense.  
It wasn't this.   
Andrew wrapped his hands up as he toed out of his shoes, before he began on the punching bag.

Two hours later, he let himself out of the room, walking quietly back downstairs to find Roland exactly where he had said he would be.   
"Back to even ground?" Roland asked around a mouthful of apple, and Andrew nodded.   
Roland walked over, and tilted his head as he swallowed.  
"You staying or you heading back?"  
"Heading back," Andrew said and Roland smirked at his tone.   
"Always nice, Minyard," Roland called after him as Andrew left, shutting the door behind himself.  
Now he was back in the car and on his way back to the Tower, to Neil.

He parked, and made his way up the stairwell but instead of going to the dorms he went up to the roof. As predicted, Neil was sitting on the edge, holding a cigarette between his fingers.  
Andrew sat down next to him and they were both silent.  
"Bipolar with major depressive disorder." Neil's quiet voice was loud in the silence around them. "Major depressive episodes, along with manic highs and lows, which usually follow each other."   
Neil wasn't asking anything so Andrew didn't respond.   
Neil turned to look at him. "I want to help," he said. "I've not got a clue what to do or what I'm meant to do, but I want to help."  
Andrew breathed a mouthful of smoke at him, which Neil flinched slightly at and waved away.  
Andrew considered his words before speaking.  
"You can start by not being scared."  
Neil flicked an alarmed look at him.  
"Scared?"  
"Stop being scared I'm going to flip at the slightest thing. Stop being scared I'm going to hurt you. Stop being scared I'm going to be like them." Andrew flicked a bored glance at Neil, who was staring at him. "Stop expecting me to break."  
Neil licked his lips, nodding slowly. "Everything I found online said-"  
"I'm not online, Abram," Andrew exhaled. "I'm not some definition you can read and commit to memory and reference to."  
Neil nodded. "Alright." He didn't say anything else and Andrew didn't offer anything else.  
After a few beats, Neil reached over and took Andrew's cigarette from his mouth, taking a few drags.  
"For the record," he said around a mouthful of smoke, "I like this honesty game more than I thought."  
Andrew ignored that and Neil smirked.  
"Yes or no?"  
Finally.   
"Yes," Andrew decided and when Neil kissed him, the redheads mouth was as hot as it had been before, any sign of fear or caution gone.  
Fucking finally, Andrew thought to himself.


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathanial comes back while Andrew's manic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "What if manic! Andrew met Nathanial? What would happen?"
> 
> TW for blood, violence and knives

Neil ducked to avoid the ball Andrew had slammed towards him. It skated barely an inch over his head.  
Nicky yelped and Neil assumed the ball had hit him, as the man's voice was accompanied by a "thwack".  
Wymack hit on the plexiglass in warning, at the same time Neil shot a glare at Andrew.  
"What was that for?" Nicky asked, sounding winded.   
"Oh relax," Andrew called back, "it wasn't meant for you."  
Neil whipped back around from looking at Nicky to stare at Andrew. A few of the others were as well. No one could see Andrew's expression through the grid on his helmet but Neil didn't need to; that fake joy was far too sarcastic and cheerful to be good.  
"Again?" Matt asked, looking between Andrew and Neil.   
Neil hesitated, glancing towards Wymack, who only pursed his lips as if to say "your goalie boyfriend, your problem". But Wymack didn't know Andrew had gone manic again, since the plexiglass blocked out most of the conversation and voices.  
Neil sighed and gestured to Nicky, who had picked the ball up.   
"Back into play," Neil said.  
"You expect us to practice with a manic sociopath?" one of the freshmen exclaimed.  
Neil glared in their direction. "I expect you to practice with the team," he stated. Dan shot him a look which he ignored.  
"Andrew won't kill you unless you give him reason to," Aaron shouted. The twins were always surprising Neil with their seemingly random shows of support for each other; but since Andrew's last episode almost a month ago, the two of them had undeniably gotten closer.  
"But-"  
"Your choice is either practice with us or do laps around the stands," Neil snapped. "Which is it going to be?"   
The freshman glared but Neil ignored it.   
"Practice," they finally muttered and Neil gestured to Nicky to put the ball into play.   
The team had clearly improved over the last few months, the freshmen falling into the hierarchy eventually. But they still relied on Andrew to clean up their messes too much, which Neil hated.  
Half an hour later, he had dodged another seven balls, and the others had had to pull off some pretty fancy footwork to avoid broken ankles when Andrew aimed the balls down instead of up or across.  
"Trouble in paradise, Nathanial?" Jack sneered as he dodged his second one.  
Neil grit his teeth and didn't answer, which he took as a win.  
Until Jack spoke again. "What happened? Did you try to butcher him while raping his ass? No wait - you would both enjoy that, wouldn't yous?" Jack laughed and Neil turned to him, quickly pinning the man against the wall with his racquet over his throat.  
"You don't want Nathanial here," Neil seethed.   
Jack grinned.  
"But I do. Cause I don't think he's as bad as everyone makes him out to be."   
Neil narrowed his eyes.   
Under his uniform and armour, his burns and scars ached. It was warm, and the heating in the building was up higher than usual. The fabrics rubbed against each other and his skin, and even under the armbands he could feel some of the burns stinging.  
"I don't think he's so different from Neil," Jack was still saying. "I don't think he's dangerous - nothing like his father."  
Distantly, he was aware of Dan calling practice to a halt. He could hear people talking quietly, carefully.   
Jack grinned. Neil looked at him, before tilting his head; Neil Josten was a member of the Foxes and dating Andrew Minyard and had a home and a family and no reason to run anymore. Nathanial Wesninski had grown up on the run, but before that had been raised as his father's son - training had started earlier than he could remember.   
In the space of a few seconds, he sent Neil Josten away to another place - that man didn't belong here right now.  
Sneering, Nathanial pulled his helmet off.   
Jack grinned when he realised he had gotten his way.  
"Neil?" Dan asked. "What-"  
She cut herself off when Nathanial yanked Jack's helmet off of him, and the plastic fell to the floor with a too-loud bang.  
Distantly, Nathanial was aware of Wymack hitting on the plexiglass again, but he didn't care. He was the Butcher's Son, and that man wasn't a threat.  
"Neil what-"  
"Knives," Nathanial hissed. A second later he looked towards Andrew, who was standing in goal, leaning on his racquet with his head tilted, watching the scene unfold.  
"Give me two," Nathanial said. The blonde man didn't move. The one time his mania makes him stay still.  
"What the fuck-" Wymack started as he walked into the court.  
"Doe, knives!" Nathanial snapped.  
The room went silent for two beats before Andrew laughed.  
"Oh, the irony," he sang.   
Nathanial growled, and threw Jack onto the floor at an angle which ended with him falling over himself and a loud "crack" sound.  
No one stopped him as Nathanial stormed over to Andrew, who was still grinning behind the grid of his helmet.  
"I said," he breathed, "Give me two knives, Doe."  
When Andrew's grin only grew wider, Nathanial grabbed the man's arm, wrenching a blade free. Judging by the angle it likely cut into skin, but who cared?  
Not taking his eyes off the blonde, Nathanial threw the knife behind him and heard a satisfying yelp.  
The blonde's grin was far too cheerful to match the dare in his gaze.  
In answer, Nathanial took a blade from the other arm, and pushed him harshly against the goalpost before turning and striding back towards Jack, who was still on the floor.  
The knife Nathanial had thrown was lodged in Jack's jersey, pinning the material to the floor. There was blood on the hilt, which meant Nathanial had been right when he guessed he had cut the blonde's arm. It was his own fault for not giving the knives up. Nathanial didn't care.  
"Josten what the fuck-" Wymack began, but was cut off by Andrew's laughter.  
"Josten isn't home right now, Coach," the blonde said. He paused and Nathanial felt those hazel eyes piercing his back. "Turns out dead doesn't mean dead anymore." The man's tone was still cheerful but the dangerous undertones were unmistakable.  
"Please, please don't-" Jack began and Nathanial rolled his eyes.  
"But I thought you wanted to meet me," he said as he dropped down in front of him, running the second blade over his face. "Would be such a shame to not finish what's started," he sneered. He could feel his father's smile stretching over his face and was glad.  
A second later, Jack had two fine lines of blood trailing down his cheeks.  
"Such a crybaby, you may as well have it on show for everyone to know," Nathanial hissed.   
As he went to make the cuts deeper, two pairs of hands grabbed him from behind and pulled him away.   
"What the fuck-"  
"Neil listen to me-"  
Nathanial twisted and kicked one man while elbowing the other sharply. They both yelled and their grips loosened enough for Nathanial to drop to the floor and duck before they could grab him again.  
Andrew was still laughing, and Nathanial looked at him.   
Fuck Jack, he thought, and strode towards the blonde who now had his helmet off, grin wide and daring, his eyes mocking.  
A few people yelled as Nathanial grabbed Andrew by the neck and hurled him against the plexiglass.  
"Oh," Andrew laughed, "you really don't want to do that." He kneed Nathanial in the stomach, and then quickly moved so that he had Nathanial pinned instead.   
"No?" Nathanial sneered. "And why is that, Doe?"  
"Cause if you pin me against a wall again, I'll kill you."  
Nathanial knew the man meant every word.  
"Is that a threat?"  
"No," Andrew replied cheerfully. "It's a promise."  
Nathanial kicked his shin and sharply punched his throat, but as he twisted to pin Andrew against the wall again another pair of hands were on him, on both of them, pulling them apart.  
Without a word, Wymack dragged them both off the court and through the building to his office, where he threw them into the room.  
"One of you psychos tell me what the fuck happened right now or both your contracts are down the drain."  
Andrew only laughed, but yelped when Wymack grabbed his arm.  
"Shit," Wymack hissed when his hand came away bloody.  
Andrew only grinned. Nathanial glared.  
"Josten what the fuck is going on?"   
Wymack locked the door and moved between them again, putting his hands firmly on Neil's shoulders and kneeling down to his level.  
"Josten. Neil Josten."  
Nathanial sneered and Wymack’s grip tightened. "What the fuck did Jack say? You know he's an idiot - why the fuck did you rise to him?" Wymack held Nathanial's gaze. "And why the fuck are you killing Andrew? Actually why the flying fuck are you doing anything to him? Grabbing him? Taking his knives? Fucking cutting him? Trying to kill him?" Wymack shook the man in his arms. Nathanial was in control but Neil was still in there.  
"What the fuck happened, Josten?"  
Josten.  
Neil Josten.  
"I thought Nathanial was dead," Wymack was still saying. "Why the fuck did you bring him back?"  
Neil stared at the man in front of him, and Wymack sighed but still didn't let go.  
"I... " Neil didn't know.   
Wymack let go and Neil all but crumpled to the ground. Why had he brought Nathanial back? Why the fuck had he risen to that?  
Wymack had already turned to Andrew, who was sitting on the desk as he undone his uniform and armour to look at his arms.  
Neil flinched all over when he saw the damage he - no, Nathanial - had done.  
Andrew's arm guard was stained red, and his arm band looked a darker shade of black on the underside. He paused with his hands on the cuff.  
Wymack sighed and turned away again, going to one of the cabinets across the room and rummaging through it for something.  
Seemingly satisfied with that agreement, Andrew tugged his arm band off and Neil felt his stomach drop; Andrew's arm was crimson. From his place on the floor he could see the light glinting against old, long-faded scars, now stained red again from the blood spilling over them. There was a long cut, maybe five inches long, going from just under Andrew's elbow to a few fingers above his wrist. It wasn't deep, but it wasn't shallow either.  
Neil felt sick.  
Before he could drop his gaze, Andrew caught it.  
Holding the other man's stare was dangerous, Neil knew, but looking away would be suicide.  
Wymack came back over and in his peripheral vision Neil saw it was a first aid kit the man had been looking for. Andrew continued to hold Neil's gaze until Wymack pointedly put the kit beside him and walked away again.  
"Don't fucking kill each other," was all he said before shutting the door behind himself.  
Andrew raised an eyebrow before moving his gaze to the kit on the desk beside him. Neil let out a breath as quietly as he could.  
"Oh, Neil," Andrew cooed. "How multitalented you are. Striker, runner, rabbit, actor, liar, comedian, toy, and now you can bring the dead back to life? I'd applaud you, but I don't have enough hands."  
Neil flinched. Andrew laughed.  
"Andrew, I..." Neil didn't know what to say. But he knew he had to say something. 'I'm sorry' was nowhere near enough so he knew better than to try saying that.  
"I don't know why I did that," he settled for. "I shouldn't have let Jack bait me like that, and I shouldn't have let Nathanial back. I didn't think it would go that far."  
Andrew hummed, holding his arm up to the light.  
Neil sat silently as Andrew hummed a nonsense tune to himself while cleaning his arm up, and only looked up when he heard the other man hop down to the floor.  
"Can I come back to the room?" Neil asked quietly as Andrew opened the door.  
"Oh, I thought you did as you please," Andrew threw over his shoulder before hauling the door open hard enough it swung shut behind him and bounced on the hinge.  
"Really Coach? Only one bandage?" Andrew yelled and Neil groaned, curling up on himself.  
Not five minutes later, Wymack came back in the room and knelt in front of Neil.  
"Come on," he said as he hauled Neil to his feet. "Showers. Now. The others are already changed out. And you stink."  
Neil nodded, making his way out the office and towards the changing rooms, which were thankfully empty.  
Despite the privacy, Neil felt rushed. The changing room and shower room were empty, which meant Andrew wasn't there. Normally he took five minutes to get changed or dressed, and another five or ten in the shower. How quickly had he changed to get away from the stadium?  
When Neil walked out the changing room in his clothes again, he wasn't surprised to find Matt and Kevin waiting on him.   
"Neil?"  
"I'm sorry." It was out his mouth before he could stop it. "I-"  
Matt covered his mouth gently and Neil looked up in surprise.  
"We know," he said.   
It wasn't a lot but it felt like it. Neil nodded, and Kevin scratched his neck.  
"Andrew went back to the dorm," he said. "Nicky went after him."  
Neil interpreted that how he wanted and began walking back to the Tower.

When he got to the room, Nicky was in one of the beanbags on the phone to Erik, and the shower was on.  
Neil ducked his head as he went past Nicky and towards his room. As he passed the bathroom he heard muffled banging sounds, as if Andrew were kicking the wall. Neil hurried towards the bedroom, where he sank onto the bed, head in his hands.  
About fifteen minutes later, Andrew joined him, sitting on the table next to the window as he smoked. Neil didn't need to look to know the grin was still in place.  
He had the feeling it'd be there for a while this time.


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew reveals he and Aaron have twin telepathy and simultaneously drops an emotional bombshell on the team and his brother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for Andrew's past and abuse mentions I'm general

Allison laughed, and swallowed another impressive mouthful of her drink. "Ok, question."   
She took another swig as she gestured between the twins. The group were in Matt's room, minus the freshmen, for which Neil was grateful.  
"You two are identical twins," Allison said, voice slightly high and drunk. "Does that mean you have the twin telepathy thing?"   
Aaron was sitting on one side of Neil, and Andrew was on the other. The group had gotten used to Andrew's returned mania, but Matt and Nicky couldn't hide their curious glances any better than Dan and Renee could hide their concerned ones; Andrew had been manic for close to four days now and was only just crashing. He had stayed in bed well after Kevin had left that morning, - Neil had taken the hint and stayed through in the other room - and when Kevin had gotten back a few hours later Andrew had only just gotten out the shower. Neil knew he was beginning to crash, since his grin had faded to a sharp smile that was all teeth, but the rest of the team hadn't seen this side of him before, whereas Neil was getting used to it. Now it was late afternoon, and he was still smiling.  
Aaron and Andrew answered at the same time.  
"No-"  
"Yes-"  
Aaron glared while Andrew laughed. It was weak but still enough to set Neil a little more on edge.   
"See, Andrew was right about the totally identical thing," Allison continued with another swig. "So he's probably right about this too."  
"We can't read each others minds," Aaron grumbled. "That's just stupid."   
Andrew hummed.   
"Stupid, yes. But not completely off."  
Aaron glared. "What?"  
Andrew gave an innocent shrug none of them believed.  
"It's more a sense than actual telepathy."  
Aaron turned to face his brother and Neil briefly regretted choosing to sit between them.  
"Then prove it," he sneered.  
Andrew laughed.  
"You mean by telling everyone about the nightmares you still have yet refuse to tell Bee about? That sort of proof?"  
Aaron stared.   
"What nightmares?" Dan asked, at the same time Nicky asked, "The same ones you had when you were a kid?"  
Andrew hummed again, laughing as he answered.  
"Oh, Nicky, sweet Nicky - no, these are different ones Aaron has only had for- how long, now? Almost a year?" Aaron looked like he either wanted to puke or punch something.   
Dan cleared her throat.  
"What about the ones when yous were younger?"  
Andrew shrugged, leaning back in the corner of the couch, smiling gleefully at Aaron.  
"How should I know? Whatever they were they obviously weren't as vivid as these ones." He laughed again when Aaron flinched.  
Allison looked to Nicky. "What were they about?"  
Nicky shrugged, still downing his drink.  
"I'm not sure," he said after swallowing and wiping his mouth with his hand. "Mom just said aunt Tilda was really fed up with Aaron having them all the time cause it meant he refused to go back to sleep and would randomly pass out. She got really annoyed when Aaron said nothing actually happened in them."  
Allison and Dan looked to Aaron, confused.  
Aaron shrugged stiffly. "It was more a feeling than an actual dream," he muttered.  
Andrew's grin got sharper. Neil knew he was meant to talk him down from his mania but he didn't know how to talk him into crashing faster.  
"A feeling?" he echoed. "Oh, brother - lovely brother of mine - what kind of feeling? A prickling? Like you're being watched? Oh, was it ghosts? Monsters?"  
"It was like there was someone else in my room," Aaron snapped. "Ok? Like someone was covering my mouth or lying on me or something."  
Andrew laughed chirpily.  
"And they started when you were seven. Got a bit better when you were eight, worse again at nine for a bit, and then got better again until you were twelve. Then got better again in may. Am I right?" Andrew's grin said he knew he was right.   
Aaron stared.  
"How the fuck do you-" He cut himself off as he realised what the nightmares must have actually been. "No. No," he said and Andrew laughed.  
"Seven," Aaron said weakly. And then; "Wait. Winter when you were seven, what happened to your arm and leg?"  
"Fell out a tree, snap snap."  
Aaron stared as the pieces fitted together in his mind.  
"Christmas Eve..."  
Andrew's laugh was harsh. "Oh, that was a fun night. For him. Though I must say, being stuck in bed in foster care really isn't ideal."  
Aaron gulped.   
"You were seven the first time..." Aaron trailed off, and Andrew's grin got sharper again.   
By now the rest of the team had caught up and were staring at the twins.  
"Seven." Nicky's voice was empty. "Your first time was when you were seven."  
Renee looked as if someone had drowned a puppy in front of her, but she didn't say anything. Maybe she knew there wasn't really anything to say.  
Andrew just lounged further back in the corner, seemingly content with the bombshell he had just dropped on his brother and the rest of the team.  
Neil gulped.   
"When did this happen?"   
Everyone turned to Kevin, who was sitting on the floor against the sofa, and had been silent all night.   
Kevin looked at Andrew before gesturing to his own mouth. Andrew pursed his lips, pretending to think. Neil knew he didn't have to actually think to remember the first time he went manic.  
"When I was thirteen."   
Kevin nodded slowly as his drunk brain processed that.  
Surprisingly, everyone stayed in Matt's room another half hour before Andrew decided he and Neil were leaving. When they did, they went back to the dorm, Neil going to the kitchen for more food and Andrew to the stairwell. It was another half hour before he came back to the dorm, and when he did the smile was fading some more. As Neil ate, he watched Andrew, wondering how much longer this episode would last.


End file.
